Met Office measure temp by how many pricks have their shirts off

 

The Met Office determine how warm it is by counting how many lads are walking around with their scrawny pecks on show, it’s been revealed.

The far from technical process is considered to be far more accurate than mercury and digital thermometers, as weather expert Simon Jones explained:

“We stand in town centres and tally up how many lads are walking about with their shirts off in a manner that does not befit their embarrassingly slight frames. Two lads every four minutes means it’s about 16 degrees.

“Six skinny topless lads and a pit bull and it’s officially a heatwave.  We’ve named it the Twatometer”.