What It’s Like When You Live in Wales & Work in England

 

They assume you’ve travelled great distances to get there.

Rest, weary traveller, your journey is over. You have reached Warrington.

 

“Wales? Woah! How long does it take you to get here?”

Even though it’s about 22 minutes down the bypass, just play along.

Tell them that you and all the other Welsh people are forced to camp on the motorway embankment every night to make the morning commute more manageable, and that you must prostitute yourself under the flyover to help cover the enormous fuel bills.

 

“Oh, a bloke downstairs is Welsh, you two should car share”

Oh, okay. He probably lives nowhere near me and could be a complete fucking head case, but sure, I’ll hop in a car with him on my own.

 

They think you live on an isolated farm in the middle of nowhere

Upon learning that you live in Wales, some of your work colleagues will assume you’re up at 4am herding cattle and milking an udder directly over your bowl of Cheerios.

In reality,  the closest you ever get to a cow is probably the McDonald’s round the corner from your house, but they aren’t to know this.

 

Bad weather means we get to go home first.

It may only be slush here, but Wales will be 16 feet under by now. Probably.

It’s not all bad. Winter times are great times when you live in Wales and work in England. Any mention of snow on the news and you’re the first in line for an early dart.

“Excuse me, I live in Wales, so I best shoot off before the narrow lanes that lead to my isolated farmhouse become impassable”.

Boss: “Jesus, yeah, it must be snowing in Wales. Drive safely”.

 

They’ll tell you about a time they once went to Wales

Yes, please tell me more about this, I am really interested.

It’s dead nice of you, but there’s really no need to regale us with the tale of when you drove through Mostyn seven years ago.

Next time you see them, interrupt their coffee break to tell them about a time you took the wrong exit on the M6 and spent 4 minutes in Walsall. It’s in England so they’ll surely be interested, right?

 

“A bloke called David used to work here, you might know him actually, he’s from Wales too. 

Hmm, David… David. It’s not ringing any bells. One moment, let me check my filofax where I keep the names of all the 3.1 million Welsh people. He’ll be in here somewhere.

 

“It must be annoying getting stuck behind tractors all the time”

Fair enough, they do get it right sometimes.