Jeremy Vine no longer sure what’s real and what’s CGI


BBC presenter Jeremy Vine is struggling to determine what’s real and what’s computer generated after spending 12 hours in a CGI green room.

The spaced-out broadcaster left BBC HQ this morning waving his hands out in front of him, cautiously touching objects to check their realness.

Commuter Emma Roberts, who saw Jeremy on the Tube earlier, said: “I said hello because I recognised him from the telly, but he just proceeded to rub my face and ask me if I’m made of blood and bones or computer code, it was very odd.

“A few minutes later he was shouting at a row of empty seats”.

Vine, who has now had a few hours rest, said:  “According to this newspaper, Theresa May lost shit loads of seats and is now in bed with a group of Irish religious lunatics. I’ve clearly not had enough rest, I’m back off to bed”