Aldi cashing in on impending war with £400 bomb shelters

 

Aldi are hoping to make nuclear holocaust survival affordable for everyone with prefabricated bomb shelters for just £400.

With tensions between the US, North Korea and China at breaking point, the German retailer has been quick off the mark to offer a budget bomb survival range.

“People say you can’t put a price on safety, but we can. £399.99 to be precise”, said Aldi’s director of sales, Alex Muller. “Trump and Jong-un can carpet bomb the living daylights out of each other and you and two other family members will be safely tucked away playing Jenga”.

“Well, probably. We haven’t tested it yet. We just pinched it from our gardening range but I’m sure it’ll be fine”, he added.

Mike Price, from Cardiff, has already bagged himself a shelter at his local store. “I’m housing my fallout shelter over my Aldi budget Jacuzzi. If that’s not a stylish and thrifty way of surviving World War III, then I don’t know what is”, he said.