Mid Wales celebrates 30th anniversary of nothing happening

 

Mid Wales is celebrating three decades of absolutely nothing happening whatsoever, according to local reports.

Dubbed the ‘Green Desert of Wales’, the area is the most sparsely populated region in the country, and residents gathered today to mark the 30th year since anything noteworthy occurred.

Local man Mark Jones, who thinks the northern town of Denbigh is a ‘metropolis’, attended the celebrations today. “Bugger all happens here and we’re proud of it”, he said. “Wrexham and Cardiff can keep their fancy takeaways and noisy televisions, we’re happy as we are.”

Despite being pleased with the achievement, locals are insisting on keeping things low key however, as Jones explained: “We’re celebrating but in a very unremarkable way. Making too much of a fuss could turn it into an occasion, which means something would have technically happened in Mid Wales and we’ll have to start over”.

Looking back over thirty years of sod all, Jones added: “Doesn’t time fly. It’s hard to believe it’s been thirty years since that bloke stopped in his car and asked for directions to Hereford.”