Bad guys much harder to spot since Rockports went out of fashion, admit police

Here comes trouble


Potentially dangerous individuals have been much harder to identify since Rockports went out of fashion, police have admitted.

Popular some 15 years ago, the footwear was a hit with youngsters who had a penchant for robbing your wallet and punching you in the lower abdomen. But since falling out of favour with the kids, police have had a much harder time in identifying potential trouble.

Sergeant Mike Jones, based in Mold, said: “Back in ’99, policing was a piece of piss. We just rolled around looking for the lads in Rockports with their trouser legs tucked into their socks. One stop and search and you were guaranteed to find a small cube of hash and a penknife .”

Reminiscing about old times, Jones added: “The scallies were even colour coded to make it easier for us. The lad with the brown Rockports and stripy Fred Perry jumper was the one you had to keep your eye on”.