House spiders taking the piss this year

"You'll need more than that broom, lad"


House spiders really are taking the piss this year, residents across Wales have agreed.

The house spider is a common sight in homes across the UK in autumn, as the arachnid seeks warmer surroundings in the colder months. But several reports are indicating that their size is beginning to cause great concern.

Queensferry mum of two, Marion Jones, has had several unnerving encounters already. “Normally I call my hubby when I find one, but I had to call the RSPCA this time round”, she said. “The one I found on the landing was so big I was tempted to ask it to start contributing toward the council tax”.

Some are also claiming that the common house spider has become decidedly more brazen this time round. Martin Parry, 42, claims he was woken by a spider messing around downstairs, he said: “I walked downstairs and found a massive one making paella in the kitchen, it was fucking mental.

“Although I had smoked a cigar-sized spice joint before bed, so I’m not sure what to believe”.