“You’re so messy”, says woman who leaves hair grips every f***ing where

There are 4,000 more of me down the sides of the sofa


“You are seriously messy and it drives me mental”, a woman who inexplicably leaves thousands of little hair grips all over the fucking place has told her boyfriend.

Gemma Jones, 26, says she’s had enough of her boyfriend nonchalantly leaving toast crumbs on the kitchen worktop every morning, or not putting the orange juice back in the fridge when he’s done.

“He’s an utter nuisance to share a home with”, she said today whilst casually plucking hundreds of little grip things from her head and tossing them in every hard to reach place she can find. “And he never does the hoovering”.

Gemma’s boyfriend, Jason, said he was unable to comment on his girlfriend’s assertions, claiming he was too busy de-clogging the Dyson of 200+ metal hair grips that seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Again.