Team GB take Gold in new ‘Panic Buying Milk Because It’s Snowing’ event

Our hilariously pathetic reaction to snow is finally paying off

 

Team GB have stormed to Olympic Gold and set a record in the new ‘Panic Buying Milk Because It’s Snowing’ event in Pyeongchang today.

Millions tuned in as Great Britain swept the competition aside in the new ‘Overreaction to Snow’ category, which features a variety of brilliant new events.

Spectator and Brit, Mike Price, who watched on from the stands this afternoon, said: “Finally, our inherent ability to overreact and generally be useless idiots in wintry weather has found a purpose”, he said.

“Nobody crumbles into a pathetic mess because of a light snowfall quite like us, we were built for this shit”, he added.

Introduced to the Games for the first time this year, the event was always expected to be an easy win for the British.

Dave Edwards, a member of the British Winter Sports Association, was equally as thrilled with the team’s success. “With other new events like ‘Having Zero Ability to Drive in 1cm of Snow’, and ‘Possessing Hilariously Inappropriate Footwear for Icy Conditions’, Pyeongchang 2018 could be an absolute stormer for us”, he said.