Following a national petition to ban US presidential candidate Donald Trump from entering the UK, ministers have so far only been able to prevent him from drinking in Wetherspoons, it’s been revealed.
Rest of the UK
A pissed, angry man with sick on his shoes eating a McDonald’s on the pavement is better than you because he’s wearing a suit jacket, he has revealed.
A full-scale brawl erupted at Chester Races today after a ticket holder smuggled a can of Carlsberg past race officials.
A London pensioner is preparing to enter the history books this evening, after her £100-million per-year handout will become the longest-standing active benefit claim to remain completely unchallenged.
A Facebook user from Anglesey has spent the last six months only communicating online through the medium of Minion memes, it’s been revealed.
Liverpool’s very own ‘Purple Aki’ has spoken of his delight this week after being offered a spot on the judging panel for the world-renowned Mr. Universe contest, due to be held in Las Vegas next month.
An attempt by border police to clear the Channel Tunnel of disruption by showing migrants images of Shotton town centre has paid off, reports have confirmed.
A guy you went to school with many years ago is still wearing a pair of Adidas popper pants, battered Lonsdale trainers and a Kappa rain jacket, it has emerged.
A controversial new policy that enables anybody with a gun licence to shoot an over-privileged, red jacket wearing snob on horseback has been introduced to the Welsh countryside today.
The social media friends of printer salesman Tom Brindle have spoken of their admiration for him this week after he shared his fourth drink photo since Monday.