A man’s day off was ruined today after he accidentally made direct eye contact with a charity worker in town, it has emerged. Enjoying a stroll in the sunshine, 42-year-old Mike Jones innocently glanced upward…
Rest of the UK
The number of people attending this year’s May Festival at the Chester Racecourse is lower than ever, after organisers announced a general ban on dickheads.
Those who claim state benefits are just lazy spongers who get everything handed to them, according to a group of housewives taking a coffee break on their third shopping trip this week.
“Diane Abbott is only really here to make up the numbers”, an embarrassed Jeremy Corbyn has conceded today following a busy week campaigning.
Just months after the world’s media accused Vladimir Putin of influencing the outcome of the US Presidential Election, the Russian leader is yet again under the spotlight…
Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Philip will retire in the Autumn of this year, but the 95-year-old admits he wasn’t technically working in the first place.
A man standing outside a supermarket in a hi-vis jacket has finally sold an RAC membership after 12 years of trying, we can reveal.
A local man is still as thick as pig shit despite drinking several litres of ‘SmartWater’ daily, we can reveal.
Facebook politicians are preparing for another period of bleeting on about crap they don’t entirely understand, it has emerged.
A smart-arse is still only halfway through a ten day break from work that only cost him four annual leave days.