Ringtone phenomenon “Crazy Frog” has revealed how a decade of substance abuse has left his life in tatters, blaming instant fame and a move to Deeside as the reasons for his downfall.

The one-time star, who will soon be facing a short stretch in Berwyn for driving his motorbike through KFC after he was banned for vomiting in a family bucket, is currently housed in a sparsely furnished bedsit in Shotton.

“It wasn’t always like this”, explained the amphibian today while rifling through his court papers. “I was the business back in 2003; I was shitting money. But the ringtone royalties dried up and the only work I could get was guest appearances at the Tiv, hence the move to nearby Shotton. The Deeside scene totally finished me off after that”.

In a moment of optimism, the washed up 15-year-old added: “Despite my problems, North Wales is a good place for me. It seems to be popular with widely-disliked and forgettable faces, like Lisa Scott-Lee, Michael Owen and so forth.”