Following a national petition to ban US presidential candidate Donald Trump from entering the UK, ministers have so far only been able to prevent him from drinking in Wetherspoons, it’s been revealed.

Over half a million citizens called for the business magnate to be denied entry to the country, following his controversial comments on muslims in America.

One minister, who wholeheartedly agreed with the motion put forward, said: “Banning Trump from the United Kingdom entirely is proving difficult, so we’re just going to ban him bit by bit until there’s nowhere left for him to go. We thought we’d start with Spoons, seeing as though there’s one on every bastard corner”.

“We’re going to ban him from every Wetherspoons, McDonald’s, bookies and all shit nightclubs, which pretty much leaves him with nowhere to go in Wrexham already, for example”.