Pretty much everybody you went to school with now has a Facebook page for a business that’s primary service is to bake cakes and shape icing into popular Disney characters, a study has found.

Bar worker Tom Williams from Cardiff, who recently rejected three requests from his old school friend Charlotte to follow her page ‘Sparkling Cakez for Kidz’, said: “It does my bollocks in to be honest. So you can reshape a ball of icing into something that only slightly resembles The Little Mermaid? Big fucking whoop, Charlotte. Get your face off my newsfeed”.

Business expert Terry Jones from Monmouth said: “Around 57 unregistered cake decorating businesses flood Facebook each day in Wales. I’m going to put my neck on the line here and say that Facebook doesn’t desperately need another cake baking entrepreneur trying to shape a blob of sugar into something that will ultimately look nothing like what it’s supposed to be.

“Honestly, just don’t fucking bother”.