Terror group ISIS have purportedly turned to Samsung Galaxy Note phones as a more reliable alternative to suicide belts, it’s been revealed.
Considered more portable as well as sleek and comfortable to hold, the Notes have quickly become the weapon of choice for dedicated members.
“Belts were so 2015”, explained one member this afternoon after getting his hands on a fetching Note in pearl white. “Samsung has enabled us to bring suicide missions into the 21st century. No more fiddly, unattractive belts. You just pop this in your pocket and head off. Samsung do the rest”.
Spokesman for Samsung Kim Xiang, who has initiated the call back of thousands of faulty phones across Europe this week said: “This fault has really hit us in the pocket. But as the saying goes: One man’s faulty phablet is another man’s lethal suicide device. Well, I’m pretty sure that’s a saying anyway. Either way we’re shipping a load out to Syria. We have to make up the lost ground to Apple somehow”.