A full-scale brawl erupted at Chester Races today after a ticket holder smuggled a can of Carlsberg past race officials.
Onlookers were stunned as up to thirty men in suit jackets lunged at one another with chairs and glasses, brimming with rage likely fuelled by the canned lager, which organisers had recently banned.
“There were cheap suit jackets from Asda and broken teeth flying all over the place”, said occasional race-goer, Emily Pearce. “This is exactly why they banned Carlsberg and other cheap lagers. Look what just one can does to them. Savages”.
Race Official, Mike Stamp, said: “This is an absolute disgrace. This is why we banned people bringing their own booze in. It should be our considerably more expensive beer that’s causing this, not their store-bought cheap shit”.