A pissed, angry man with sick on his shoes eating a McDonald’s on the pavement is better than you because he’s wearing a suit jacket, he has revealed.

Dave Edwards, who attended Chester Races today, purchased the jacket from Asda, and was quickly transcended to a higher social standing when he put it on. It’s believed his George jacket also gave him free reign to piss on a cash machine and call you a prick.

Girlfriend, Emma, said: “For the rest of the week he’s unemployed and smokes a bong made out of an empty beer can, but at the Races he’s Lord of the Manor with unlimited spends. That is until 2am when he’s begging a stranger to buy him a double cheeseburger”.

She added: “He changes as soon as the suit jacket goes on. It’s a bit like how Clark Kent changes into Superman, only when Dave goes into a phone box it’s usually just to have a piss”.