An office supplies salesman who made a ‘cool’ £5,000 profit on the sale of a semi-detached bungalow in Swansea is acting like he’s the Welsh answer to business mogul Donald Trump.
Tim Price, who hasn’t yet confirmed where he plans to invest next, said: “I snapped the old girl up back in 2005 because I could foresee the potential and how the market was evolving..
“The estate agent showed us a list of properties available and I eagled it straightaway. I scented blood and went straight for the kill. That’s what it’s like in business; you have to detach yourself from emotion and run entirely on cold instinct. You can’t just hang around waiting for second chances.”
Wife of nine years Emma, who part owned the property, said: “The profit was really nice, but Tim’s really starting to grind on my tits now. He’s starting to wear cufflinks and red braces to work, and when we watch The Apprentice he keeps tutting really loudly and shaking his head at the contestants. He sells lanyards and ink cartridges on the phone in real life. He’s not even very good at that.”
Tim, who has been overheard by colleagues using powerful phrases like, “wait for the fiscal tide to turn before investing in emerging Asian markets”, and “who’s moved my Filofax?”, said: “I might just lay down some astro turf in the new gaff and rent the baby out. I just need to go online and download a buy-to-let application form first.
“I hope they’re not too tricky to fill out. And I might have to move back in with my mum for a bit”.