The air being moderately warmer than it was a month ago has prompted an emotionally volatile man from Holywell to take his shirt off and begin eyeballing strangers in public today, it’s been revealed.
28-year-old Tommy, who has three warrants out for his arrest and a tattoo of an AK47 on his shoulder, made the decision to ditch his t-shirt at a friend’s barbecue, and proceeded to remain shirtless for the remainder of the afternoon.
When asked what makes him act in the way he does, Tommy said: “I enjoy the breeze on my chest because it reminds me that life has fundamental positives that are free to embrace. Being enclosed in cotton is just oppressive, even if it has been produced by Lacoste.
“And I walk with this Staffordshire bull terrier because it compliments my iniquitous behaviour and reaffirms to passersby that I am certainly not a chap you want to find yourself in an altercation with”.
“Fucking prick”, he quickly added.